A Girl's Feelings
by hikari6
Summary: Rika is a sophmore in high school with her friends. Right from the first day, she starts acting a bit unlike herself around a certain teacher. Her friends tease her for it and say she likes him. How does she handle it? one shot a.u. fic--& explanation
1. Story

i haven't the faintest clue where i came up with this. i was bored during english class today, and all of a sudden i got this idea popped into my head and it wouldn't bug me until i wrote it down. lol... so i'm assuming i'm supposed to write this out and show everyone right brain?  
brain: yep!  
lol... i'm weird, don't mind me... just read the story and tell me what you think...  
  
  
it's a one-shot a.u. fic... [alternate universe] about rika and mr. terada. it's so a.u. that very becomes an adverb!! okay, now i'm just being a dork so stop reading this and go on to the story...  
  
  
presenting....  
  
  
  
*drum roll*  
  
  
  
A Girl's Feelings  
  
  
by..........  
  
  
hikari  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[Summer's End]  
A group of mainly girls, and a few guys were seen hanging around a pond in a park. Summer was nearly over, though it's hot sun wasn't. Everyone was wearing something light and short to manage the heat a little better. Everyone was chatting about school which would start in a week. A couple of the guys got bored very quickly with the talk and started skipping stones across the pond. It soon became a contest.  
  
  
"Goooooo Syaoran!" Sakura cheered her boyfriend. He blushed a bit, but kept his concentration on his pebble and the pond. He tossed the pebble and everyone watched closely to count them. It sunk after four. "Yeah, Syaoran!" Sakura was cheering loudly, and her friends had to cover their ears to deafen the sound. Yamazaki took the challenge. He looked back toward his girlfriend, Chiharu. He flashed a grin, before skipping his own pebble. It was completely silent, except for the pebble skipping across the lake.  
  
  
Every skip was tensing everyone up. It passed the "four" mark. It went up to six before it, too, sunk. "Yeah!" Now Chiharu was cheering also, along with Sakura though. Sakura was just too hyper to really notice anything. Rika asked, "Eriol-kun, are you going to try and beat Takashi-kun?" He smiled. "No, I think I'll go last. So are you up to it, Akito?"  
  
  
Naoko's boyfriend smirked. (yay! lol... well everyone else seemed to be paired up so i decided to add someone ^_^) He looked around the pond, to find his own pebble. Then he finally found one that seemed to please him. He grinned as he came back to the group. "Beat everyone, Akito-kun!!" Now it was Naoko's turn to scream, like her friends.  
  
  
Akito winked and blew a kiss at her and concentrated on his pebble as she giggled. Everyone wondered if he would beat Takashi like he beat Syaoran. Maybe it was a good-luck charm because he did. By exactly two. Everyone cheered. He laughed and said it was like an eight-ball. Tomoyo looked at her own boyfriend.  
  
  
"So Eriol-kun, your turn is it not?" she giggled as Eriol-kun kissed her hand, which happened to be recording on her camcorder. She was still as obsessed as she ever was. He got his pebble and almost slapped it down with his force. Everyone expected it to go down, but it reached seven. "Oh, it could've been the lucky number, if Akito hadn't already passed it." Everyone laughed. Then Naoko turned to Akito.  
  
  
"Teach me." she commanded. All the girls wanted to learn how to skip stones in the water. All but one. Rika laid back on the grass and enjoyed the sun on her skin. "Hey, Rika-chan, you're not going to skip stones?" Akito asked. She smiled in response and continued to soak in the sun. He looked at her for a moment, before he shrugged and went back to teaching the other girls.  
  
  
[First Day of School]  
The gang all met in front of the school before they went their separate ways to their first classes of the day. They were all sophomores this year. Everyone had at least one person with them in their class, so they were satisfied with that.  
  
  
During break, they all met each other again. "So what are your schedules like for the rest of the classes? I can't bear to be without my dearest Tomoyo-chan." Eriol said. Everyone else smiled, and Tomoyo blushed as they all reached inside their pockets, or backpacks, for their schedules. They all exchanged it. "Yes, my love, I have a class with you finally!!" He was ecstatic. Everyone laughed. "Hey, Naoko-chan, Akito-kun, Chiharu-chan, Rika-chan, and I all have the next class together!" Sakura exclaimed, happily. They all looked at each others' schedules, then back at their own. They all smiled. Syaoran and Takashi, who had the first few together, didn't have any more classes together. "Oh well, at least I have my Chiharu-chan with me for some later." Takashi hugged his girlfriend sideways. Syaoran grinned. "And I have some with Sakura-chan." The bell rang. Everyone groaned but started going to their classes.  
  
  
[N-chan, A-kun, C-chan, R-chan, S-chan's Class](lol Naoko, Akito, Chiharu, Rika, Sakura)  
The group all sat down on a table together. They were in their Chemistry Class. Naoko was a natural in this subject (er, i don't actually know if this is true… :P) and Akito was almost as good, so they agreed to help their friends if they needed help.  
  
There were a lot of people they knew, and they all greeted each other, while waiting for their teacher to come. They all wondered who the teacher was, but they didn't need to wonder for long, because he came as soon as the bell rang for class to start.  
  
"Good-morning class! I will be your Chemistry Class this year, unless you decide to drop." There were a few nervous chuckles among the students over what he just said, but he went on. "My name is Mr. Terada, and I look forward to getting to know all of you better as we discover the world of chemistry." He smiled, and got a stack of paper, which he handed to each student. "This is the syllabus for this year. We will go over it, now that everyone has one." He went over it, making sure everyone understood all the important things. Very soon, it was time for class to end. "Now, class, I want all your parents to sign the bottom of the paper and bring it back to me tomorrow, okay?" Everyone agreed and started to leave.  
  
"Hey, Rika-chan. Why were you starting at Mr. Terada, huh?" Chiharu asked. She had noticed that her friend wasn't paying attention to the syllabus and was just staring at the teacher. "Hehe, do you like him or something?" she teased. "Eh?" Sakura was confused. "Why would Rika-chan like the teacher? Did I miss something?" Everyone sweatdropped, because Sakura still missed everything, and was still as naïve and oblivious as she always was. "Hahaha, that's what's so cute about you Sakura, you don't notice a thing." Naoko chuckled and everyone joined in. "Hoee?"  
  
  
{i decided to skip to after school}  
"Bye, everyone!"  
  
"Bye, Rika-chan!"  
  
Rika separated from her friends to go home. All day, since chemistry class, she had been thinking about Mr. Terada. She didn't like him, like her friends teased. Really, it was something else. She just had to find it. She reached her home. She went upstairs to her room, and started cleaning out her desk and her closet to find it. It took hours, but it was worth it! She stared at it. "I knew it!" she whispered.  
  
  
[Next Day]  
"Wow, you seem cheerful today, Rika-chan." Syaoran commented. Indeed, Rika was glowing because she had found what she wanted the day before, and had had some sleep. She smiled, "Yes, Syaoran-kun. I am cheerful because I am happy." Takashi replied, "Thanks for stating the obvious Rika-chan. We couldn't have figured it out without you." Everyone laughed.  
  
  
[Chemistry Class]  
"Oh man, I can't believe we're starting this already!" Chiharu whispered to Rika. But Rika didn't pay any attention. She was listening intently to what Mr. Terada was saying. Chiharu stared at her friend for a second before whispering to Sakura, "I would say... she's definitely... smit-ten." They both laughed under their breaths so that the teacher would not hear them.  
  
  
It certainly seemed like Rika was smitten. While the group was walking home, Naoko invited everyone to her house to watch a new movie that she had just bought, but Rika said that she was going to study for Chemistry. "We barely learned anything though, Rika-chan!" she exclaimed. Everyone looked at Rika. She had long ago gave up on her studies, because she couldn't for some reason get any higher than a C in any of her classes. Her friends had tried to comfort her saying that it was just because she was so shy, but she knew that her grades were failing her also. So she had stopped studying. So for her to start studying, especially in the second day of school... was amazing for everyone. Naoko looked at Rika for a long moment, before she smiled and wished her luck and offering herself in case Rika didn't understand something. Everyone agreed to help her out. The girl smiled and went her way as everyone else went to Naoko's house to watch the movie. "Tell me what it's about!" she yelled before she lost sight of them. One of them turned around and waved. She turned back around, her smile suddenly gone. She hoped desperately that her studying would help. She couldn't stand to fail in HIS class...  
  
  
She sat down on her bed, and took *it* out again. She looked at it intensely, and hugged it close to herself before putting it away in her backpack.  
  
  
[School]  
They all met, but instead of talking excitedly about the movie, or anything else, they started their conversation on Rika and Mr. Terada.  
  
"Sure, I guess he COULD qualify as cute... but he's a TEACHER... Rika... the TEACHER..."  
"Phew! I didn't know you liked anybody, much less Mr. Terada."  
  
The conversation went on and on, Rika smiling politely. She was uncomfortable the way this conversation, especially because she did NOT like him... at least in the way her friends were thinking. Rika sighed, to herself so no one would notice.  
  
  
She quickly forgot about her friends once they walked in through the door of her chemistry class. She looked at her teacher and smiled in spite of herself. She could hear her friends giggling. She walked up to the teacher, in spite of her neverending shyness. "D-do you... need any h-help?" She couldn't form the words correctly in her mouth. She was too nervous.  
  
  
He smiled and said that after school, if she still wanted to, she could help him. She smiled and went to her seat. All period, she listened to his lecture, and when he asked a question, she was the first person to raise her hand, in spite of the two geniuses sitting next to her. They were too shocked to raise their hands. And surprisingly, she got the answers correctly too. It was something new for her friends to ponder about.  
  
  
  
  
  
[Spring Break]  
Even though it's been a few months, Rika still continued to be quite unlike herself in Mr. Terada's class. Her friends had first thought it was just a little thing that would go away, but she became into chemistry and she always stayed around after school in Mr. Terada's class. She was teased endlessly by her friends, and they would have stopped as fast as a pin stops making noise after it falls on a bed, but she never said anything so they thought she was alright. In truth, no one actually knew how she was feeling. She continued to be her cheery self, except staying in Mr. Terada's classroom, for maybe even an hour after school, so her friends didn't worry about her too much. Besides, there was nothing else going on, because in school dances everyone asked the same people, and if people broke up, they were usually people who don't stay in relationships long anyway, so life in school was pretty boring. So they took it to themselves to make it more interesting. Even if it meant teasing Rika in and out of school.  
  
  
"Hey everyone, do you guys want to go to my house for a sleepover?" Eriol asked his group of friends. Almost everyone agreed to go, except for a couple of people. Naoko replied that she'll try to go, but she had already promised her parents some 'spring cleaning' her in room. "My parents said it looks like a pig-sty." she giggled. Eriol turned to Rika. "So you can't go either, Rika-chan?"  
  
  
She shook her head. "I don't think so. I have a lot to do." She smiled apologetically. Eriol nodded. "That's okay then, Rika-chan. See the rest of you guys later then, yeah? Naoko... get your room clean fast..." He grinned. Rika waved at her friends and they waved back.  
  
  
  
[Rika's Room]  
"I... can't take this..." she muttered. She felt like her brain was about to explode. She couldn't tell anyone how she was feeling. At least... not in person... but... she couldn't face any of them again... A single tear fell down her face, before a rush came down.  
  
  
[Day's Later]  
"Hm... Rika should've been home by now. Her school starts tomorrow." Ms. Sasaki dialed Rika's friend, Eriol's phone number, where Rika said she would be for a sleepover. "Hello, Hiiragizawa residence!" a girl answered cheerfully.  
  
  
"Um, yes, this is Rika's mother. Is Rika there still by any chance?" Rika's mother bit her lip, hoping her daughter was still in there, and not walking in the dark. At least let her be driven home. There was a pause on the phone. It seemed too long for an anxious mother. She fidgeted until...  
  
  
"This is Eriol speaking." "Oh, hello Eriol." she replied, in as calm a voice as she could manage. "So, may I speak to my daughter, please?" There was again another long pause. Then in a nervous voice, Eriol replied, "Uh, Rika-chan was never at my house, Ms. Sasaki." There was another long pause, but it came from the mother's side this time. In a voice that implied that she was about to have a breakdown, she said quietly, "Thank you, Eriol." *CLICK!*  
  
  
"Where could my little daughter be? Oh, Rika!" she wailed.  
  
  
  
[Hours Later]  
The mother was still on the search. She had been outside for many hours and she felt like she had explored the whole city. She was tempted to go outside the city, but it was pitch black, and her headlights had recently been broken so she could barely see her way back to her home. She thought 'Maybe Rika's in here, or at least around the home.' So she searched every single crack in her home, hoping to somehow see her daughter. Little did she know that twenty minutes away, Rika's friends were also in a frantic search for their friend.  
  
  
"Where could she have gone?"  
  
"Who knows? It's been four days. Who knows how far she could've gotten?"  
  
  
Everyone was in a panic, and they didn't hear the phone ringing inside the home that no one was in.  
  
  
[Back at Sasaki Residence]  
Rika's mother was sobbing very quietly now. 'Why did she do it?' she thought as she looked at her daughter's peaceful face. If you looked at her from even three feet away, you would think she was sleeping. But going closer than that, you would see that she wasn't breathing. 'Why did she commit suicide?!' The possibilities tore her mind. It wasn't until she stopped the tears from flowing from her eyes that she saw two pieces of paper, tucked in her daughter's lap. Her hands trembling, she carefully lifted her dead daughter's arms and gently took out the paper.  
  
  
There were two papers and they were both folded. Her mother looked at them, one reading 'For Everyone' and another one saying 'Chemistry Teacher'. She looked curiously at that paper. Why would her daughter dedicate a whole letter to her chemistry teacher? She had to respect her daughter's wishes... especially this one. So she didn't look at it anymore, but unfolded the other paper.  
  
  
i'm sorry that i didn't get to tell anyone good-bye.  
i couldn't take all that teasing anymore. To my  
friends... even though it may have looked like it,  
I really didn't like him like that. Please believe me.  
You'll understand. If you don't understand then ask  
him yourself. he will understand with my letter i  
hope. i wish i wasn't so weak. forgive me, i forgive  
you after what i will do now. (in less neat writing)  
don't worry. it doesn't hurt (very shaky and tear  
splotches) at all. i think i can rest now.  
good-bye everyone.  
  
  
Her mother started crying again. 'My poor daughter!! She must have been suffering, even from that teasing... why must it happen to my Rika?'  
  
  
She tried to stop sobbing as she dialed Eriol's phone number again. *RING! RRRIIIINGG!!* The answering machine came on so she left a message. "There is no need to worry about Rika. I found her. *sob sob... then wailing* *CLICK!*  
  
  
[Eriol's Home]  
After two hours of searching, the group went back home, exhausted and greatly saddened. Nakuru, very depressed, went to the phone to call Touya, to maybe feel a little bit better when she noticed a message. "Eriol-kun, come here!" Everyone came running. "A message!"  
  
The whole group listened to Ms. Sasaki's message and her cryinng. "Something's wrong." Syaoran said, and Takashi, trying to lighten the load said, "Thanks for stating the obvious Syaoran-kun. We couldn't have figured it out without you." Everyone tried to laugh, because they all remembered the week before school started, when everything was happy. But now, since they knew that something was definetely wrong, didn't feel like laughing. "Let's go." Nakuru drove everyone to Ms. Sasaki's house.  
  
  
"What happened Ms. Sasaki?" Akito asked the tear blotched woman. She looked at him, her eyes puffy and red. She saw the tears slowly streaming down every one of their faces. No one tried to hide it. She handed Akito the note that Rika had written before committing suicide. "Where is she now?" Syaoran asked gently. Sobbing quietly, the woman led them to Rika's room. It was very neat and tidy and was as bright as can be. They couldn't see her, but then Ms. Sasaki pointed toward the closet. Having a bad feeling, Eriol opened the door. Everyone gasped in horror once they got close enough to see that she was definetely not sleeping.  
  
"Oh no... she... couldn't have..." Tomoyo whispered, tears streaming down her face. It looked obvious to everyone that she was trying to keep from howling loudly. Eriol went to her and patted her head as she cried on his shoulder. He also had tears running down his face, but he was a little better at holding in all his reasons to cry for his friend.  
  
  
[Hour Later]  
The silent group went downstairs to leave, when Sakura pointed and asked, "What's that?" It was the other paper labelled 'Chemistry Teacher.' She whispered, "Oh... Mr. Terada..." Ms. Sasaki raised her head and looked at Sakura. "What did you say?" "Oh... just his name..." "What is it?" "Mr. Terada." "Oh..." Ms. Sasaki began trying to work her brain.  
  
  
[Next Day]  
Everyone was silent. By this time, just about everyone had heard about Rika's death. People came to console her friends, and they appreciated it.  
  
  
In Chemistry Class, Sakura silently handed Mr. Terada the paper. He looked curiously at the neat writing labelled 'Chemistry Teacher'. He opened it.  
  
  
Hello Mr. Terada. I'm glad I finally got to see you after  
all these years. I hope you remember me. we changed our  
last name. mom and me. if you don't remember, i forgive  
you. a lot of things have changed in 10 years hasn't it?  
come see mom soon please. thank you for being here.  
Bye daddy.  
  
Love,  
Rika Sasaki(Terada)  
  
  
The letter was very brief, but it felt like it took him an eternity just to read those six lines. Especially the last one. 'Bye daddy. Bye daddy. Bye daddy.' he could imagine her soft voice repeating it over and over in his head. He had to get out of the stifling room that was slowly suffocating him. He left the classroom, leaving the students confused.  
  
  
  
  
  
[Wedding - Live]  
Reporter: Here, in Tomoeda, we have a couple getting married. But this isn't any ordinary wedding. Even though it IS glamorous, there is something sad hidden behind this. They were already married and they divorced ten years ago. But last month, their daughter, who was fifteen committed suicide. What makes this interesting is that her 'last wishes' were for her parents to reunite again. Isn't that kind of her? Well I'm sure this is very special for everyone attending this ceremony. Now, back to you.  
  
Main News People: *dabs eyes* Oh, it's... so touching... *immediately composed* Well, then, thank you, Yoko-sama(lol it's a random name). Now, here in our capitol city of Tokyo, there was a fire that spread to a whole neighborhood! Our sources say that a simple cigarette butt has caused this whole... catastrophe... We're live there now...  
  
  
  
  
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so how'd you like it? i was serious when i said i have no idea where it came from... cuz today i'm EXTREMELY happy... well not now... this story just made me super depressed... damn those mood swings... lol... tell me what you think about this fic... 


	2. Explanation

this is just me explaining a couple things i forgot to add in and can't figure out how to put it in... lol  
  
  
1. Rika's *item* that she was holding onto was actually a picture of Mr. Terada and her mother, and Rika long time ago.  
  
  
and one of the most important things...!!!!!!! lol  
  
  
2. Rika died with pills. Hehe, I sorta forgot to mention that her mother had anti-depressant pills. Rika had started to use it little by little, but her pain was too much for the drugs to handle efficiently.  
And yes, she did kill herself on purpose. LOL, even though you could tell from her writing letters.  
  
  
one more thing...  
  
  
3. you know how the reporters were all composed and stuff? well they didn't really care about Rika... poor her... :( And that's why they immediately rushed to the fire thing...  
  
  
4. oh yeah, and Rika did have a memorial service... lol... before the wedding... 


End file.
